Al Gore Building 20-Story Ionic Breeze Air Purifiers to Fight Pollution
In the wake of an embarrassing report about his polluting mansion, global-warming activist Al Gore is on the offensive, donating millions to build massive Ionic Breeze air purifiers at what he calls key locations throughout the country.
“I was watching an infomercial, eating ice cream straight from the box, and it just hit me,” Gore said at a Washington D.C. press event to announce the skyscraper-sized Ionic Breezes. “If these little things can clean the air in a house, and so quietly, why don’t we build them globally, to clean our environment?”
Gore then unveiled a global map with Ionic Breeze machines strategically located in the world’s most polluting cities. Each 20-story Ionic Breeze will cost about million to build, according to engineers at Sharper Image and Skymall magazine.
Along with the recent heightened controversy on global warming, a number of wealthy environmentalists have been nabbed for not walking their talk. Now Hollywood environmentalists hope the massive Ionic Breeze machines will prove they’re willing to put their money where their mouth is.
“I’ve had Ionic Breezes in every room of my 43-bedroom estate for years,” John Travolta said, standing alongside Gore at the black-tie event. “I even have one in each of my jets. But I never, ever would have thought to build these on a global scale. Gore is a genius.”
Travolta took some heat recently when he flew his Boeing 767 to a small town to give an Earth Day speech. The 767 produced more pollution in Travolta’s one trip than the entire town produces in a given year.
Al Gore has also been challenged to practice what he preaches, after a report on his Tennessee mansion concluded his home emits more carbon toxins in one month than 10 average homes do in an entire year.
“For those right-wing media outlets that have invaded my personal life and criticized my own 20-bedroom home, you’ll be happy to know that the first Ionic Breeze I build will be placed in my backyard,” Gore said.
Engineers from Shaper Image and Skymall magazine are still working to plan the production of the 20-story tall Ionic Breeze, which is made mostly of plastic. Critics say producing the tons of plastic will give off even more carbon emissions.
“That’s very shortsighted,” Gore said in response to criticism. “These things will be working silently for centuries to come, protecting our children’s children from our heavy carbon footprints.”
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